6 August 1997.1a

he was on the phone
in the sun
trying to reach her
through the electric lines
through the rubber
through the copper
the tin
silver platinum
the microwaves
resistors
amperage
standing at the phone booth
along the busy Boulevard
people passing thinking
'he's probably a drug dealer'
calling his target, his supplier
what scum
on the phone,
at a phone booth
on Foothill Boulevard
right across the street from Memorial Park.
Ah, yes.
Memorial Park.
What a coincidence.
The first phone he came to
the first phone he thought he could use to connect
the first phone that worked
the first, no the second phone, that didn't
make the connection
she's gone
in the air
in the plane
on donner, on blitzen on dancer
on to New York
to Aussie land
to greatness
to what she is
to ... where ... exactly
to him
half a world away
cold
beautiful
....
disconnected by a crutch
an electronic crutch
in the days of letters
and no air‑mail
were loves disconnected though
miles a part ...
one hundred miles
might as well have been 20,000 miles
connections are not simply about
tactile touch
visual cues
but about understand
awareness
reception
a clean window
the view cannot be blocked by mountains
if the window is open

yes, Love
the window is open
i cannot shutter it
cannot
cannot
my hands are able to shutter it
my arms can hang blackness between us
but i cannot
you have me because you want me
keys to a door?
no need
nor even possible
to enter
to re‑arrange the furniture
to re‑decorate
there is, my friend
no door.
never has been
never will be
not within me
not within you
not within anyone
i feel
the power of the Sun setting
is that you can see it
the power of the Sun setting
lies not in breaking into the core
only to be instantly vaporized from
the nuclear reaction
only to be consumed and used up
the power of the Sun setting
or rising
a clear line of sight
you have that
and a clear line of sight
requires that one look
we do that
we look

my friend
there are no mirrors in the soul
there are no t.v. monitors
no video tapes of what we are now
but there is feeling
there is sensation
there is reception of what we see in each other's windows
and when the windows are in sync
straight on
without angular reflection
what we see is the honest reflection of us, our impact our self
we are warmed by the warmth we convey

it takes a very great person to sense their own warmth and
carry on even when that warmth isn't radiated back
your greatness is apparent,
warm and sweet
when no one will allow you to see them,
when they are so out of sync the reflected radiation is so distorted
it cannot be you

close the shutters.
allow the warmth to reflect back upon yourself
warm yourself
you are the Sun
you are the Moon
you are a Star of such brilliance
and magnetism
that my universe is now realigned
and moving closer
hoping that, when you feel the heat on the outside of the shutters
you will know that i am there
and that what you will see
when you open them again
is the warmth we create, share and thrive upon

"It is the heart with one sees rightly. What is essential is invisible
to the eye."